There are a lot of tips which we get from so many sources for a saas-bahu relationship. Even the way our daily TV soaps have shown the relationship of saas-bahu. It is no less than that of the World war, where family members seem to be taking part in each group.
And finally, there will be nonstop entertainment, a hit TV soap. Whether we want to be our family to be a non-stop soap for society? or a simple happy family?
The hype that this relationship of saas-bahu has got for a long time is its complexity. If we closely observe that, this is also a kind of relationship. But the only difference is that this relationship directly amalgamates the two different ideologies. In this blog, I have shared some tips and thoughts that will help the families to understand and nurture this relationship better.
The daughter-in-law, a bahu leaves everything
After marriage the boy and girl becomes son-in-law (jamai) and daughter-in-law (bahu) for the girl’s home and boy’s home respectively. However, the transformation of girl to bahu of the boy’s home is a bigger responsibility than that of boy’s.
Because he will be still the son of his home. The bahu will be loaded with additional responsibilities. The bahu should take care of the boy’s parents and his family members. The couple should take care of their parents and family members, which is absolutely correct also.
But after the marriage, the girl leaves everything behind her. She leaves her parents, sibling, unforgettable childhood memories, and many things.
During marriage it is a matter of talk that how much dowry the girl has brought? But no one can see that how much valuables she has left behind her. No one can see her sorrow. Now you think which needs more attention, the one who left everything or what she brought.
The parents who are reading my blog can just lay their hands on their heart and ask themselves who needs more attention and care at that time. To a mother-in-law who has everything already . Every relationship that has been formed since 25-30 years. She has sons, daughters, a husband, relatives and everything. Or a bahu ( daughter-in-law) who left everything that she had for more than 25 years.
Relationship can change with small reasons
- A Positive Mindset – A Saas- Bahu relationship mostly poses a negative thought in people. A girl also thinks that her mother-in-law is bad. She can’t be my mother. And a mother-in-law always thinks that a daughter-in-law never is my daughter, which is absolutely wrong.
This relationship of saas-bahu is very interesting. When a daughter marries she moves away from her mother. But a daughter-in-law stays with her in-laws for a lifetime. That’s why to have a better relationship for a lifetime. Both the saas and bahu should have a positive mindset for the relation. Because what we think, we act also in the same way.
2. Focus on Love – Focus always on love. A relationship will never be successful if anyone is suffering in it. Like that if in Saas-Bahu relationship, if anyone is suffering then, this relationship is not a pleasant journey. There is a law of life that rules everywhere, that whatever you give will come back to you, which is Karma.
If you will give love, then you will get love. If you will spread hate, you will be the hatred one. To build a stronger relationship in the family, love is needed rather than hate. Love means talking and spending time with each other. Discuss your likes and dislikes. Talk about your good memories of the past. Then gradually you will get to know each other. You will understand each other’s feelings and respect relationships.
The mother-in-law wants the happiness for her home, so the daughter-in-law. And for both of them, the family and home is same. So, if both of them share more love than anger and ego, then life will get better.
3. The sharing of work will increase the love – Saas will be the happiest person in the family when bahu will come to the home. She will have a sharing hand for daily home chores. Mostly many of the Saas used to almost completely offload her labour intensive work. When this type of situation comes. The bahu feels herself to be more like labour than a member. Even other family members also think that the Saas has till now did her responsibility, now its bahu turn.
But whether it is correct to directly offload all or major of work on a person who has just spent some days in your home and barely knows about the family members choices.
Instead of complete offloading of work, if both the Saas & Bahu will work together or share the work as per their strengths, the situation will be much more better. Also the Saas is older than bahu, which makes her physically less strong. Saas can do the work which do not needs more of physical work. Saas can do the massage for baby, taking care of the small work etc. Because if all the work will fall on bahu’s head. It will be very difficult for her to manage. Even she will be working day and night, without having time for herself. This situation leads to a irritating and frustrating mindset of bahu. Then she will start complaining and starts getting irritated on everyone.
Even other family members can do their own work, so that the balance of work and life will be maintained in the family.
4. Do not Complain about each other, Always talk with each other – Complaining always is a big mistake. When a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have some argument after that mostly they will stop talking to each other. Then the mother-in-law complains to her son that the bahu doesn’t listen to her. She does whatever she wants. She doesn’t listen to her like these many complaints will be there against the bahu.
Then the daughter-in-law explains everything to her husband that the saas doesn’t even consider her as the bahu. She always fights with her. She don’t like me at all, like that many complaints will be against saas.
What these kinds of complaints do? It will start spoiling the relationship of saas-bahu. Do not bring ego into a relationship, because the ego is the biggest enemy. In this situation, both don’t understand each other. That’s why if you feel bad, you talk directly to each other. The bahu should talk comfortably to saas about what she feels bad about in a convincing and nice manner. The comfort should be provided by saas.
Every relationship gives happiness
Every relationship is very sweet and special. It is very beautiful. This is in our hands to handle and nurture it. Many people think that the saas-bahu relationship is very difficult to understand and manage. But, truly it is a very beautiful relationship.
I am also a daughter-in-law, the bahu. My mother-in-law (saas) do not treat me like a typical bahu, or daughter but as a friend. She share everything from her life and her experiences. What ever I have written in this blog is from my own experiences. If any one of you is able to relate themselves to my blog, please let me know through your comments in comment box.
Also if you like this blog then please share to make everyone life happy and make this saas-bahu relationship a better one, real, different from daily soaps one.
