Why after some time of marriage, love diminishes. This is a very obvious and practical question that comes to everyone’s mind. But nowadays it is a very normal fact. And when this happens, it also invites a lot of problems. The relationship is very important in human life. We are the social animal, we need relations. Without relationships, we cannot imagine a society. Everyone needs a relationship to live a comfortable life in society. Nobody can live without a relationship, that’s why everyone has to make it. Remember one thing that without a relationship, a person will always be lonely. And nobody wants to be lonely. When a person is tired and sad, a relationship gives him/her support, when a person is in deep sorrow that time someone gives a reason for happiness to him/her.

Whether it is the relationship with parents or with our children or between husband and wife or of friendship, we need some kind of relationship. Whatever the relationship, everyone is everyone’s support. We always need and will be in every relationship and it has great value. Someone has said truly that a relationship is such a power in life, that it can make impossible and great changes in it. It has so much power that it fills every moment of our life with happiness.

The relationship is never made for any reason

To understand why after some time of marriage, love diminishes. We have to understand the true meaning of a relationship. A relationship is never made for any reason. It can be made by anyone at any moment for any reason if the relationship is true. The deepest relationship children have during their childhood is with their parents. When the children grow up they make their relationship with their friends. Only the name of the relationship changes but the relationship remains the same and that is love.

And when they grow up they find a life partner for themselves. Then they spend a lot of their time with their life partner, whether it is a girlfriend or boyfriend or it is a husband-wife relationship. Some people find their relationship for themselves before marriage, then they go ahead and get married. And some people get married with their parent’s consent and they love their spouse after marriage.

Why I Need a life partner

For understanding better why after some time of marriage, love diminishes. We have to understand the following scenario. Why do people keep looking for their life partner? Why do they get married?

Because they want happiness in their life. Both of them feel that life will go smoother with their partner. They will achieve success and happiness in life. Because without a partner there is a lot of incompleteness in life. When we have a true life partner in our life then our life gets complete. But it is very sad nowadays that in many relationships there is always a rift.

After some time of marriage, some problems come due to the non-solving of that problems. All that problems gradually keep on building up. Then the meaning of getting married, and the meaning of the relationship are totally changed. But why does this happen? When a boy/girl are young they find a soulmate for themselves. And there are some others, who marry only according to the wish of their parents. You all must have observed that when the boy and girl are boyfriend & girlfriend, there will be a minor or very little fight between them.

And when the same boy and girl get married, then after some time of marriage the fight gradually increases between them. And gradually that quarrel increases so much that both of them find it difficult to handle their relationship. Why does this happen and what is the reason behind this, we will understand through a beautiful story.

Love of the Boy and red rose

This story will make you understand why after some time of marriage, love diminishes. The story is about an office-going regular boy, on his way to the office, there was a beautiful garden. Every day the boy stops near the garden and feels happy and smiles at seeing the garden. That garden was really beautiful. All kinds of flowers and colors were there in that garden. All flowers were so beautiful that they will mesmerize anybody.

In the garden, there were very beautiful and fragrant Red and white-colored roses. The fragrance and the colour of the roses were so attractive that the boy will stop every day and behold them. The boy specifically likes red roses. And the boy didn’t just see the red rose in that garden, felt its fragrance, its beauty, its color, and sometimes even water them also.

Because of such a big garden, the gardener couldn’t give proper attention to all the flowers, and couldn’t give water to every plant properly. Because of this sometimes the red rose used to wither away. Flowers look more beautiful after getting water. This boy takes care of that red rose plant every day to see if the plant is fine or not. And the day the plant withered, this boy became very sad.

For some days the gardener of the garden was noticing all this, and he was happy to see all this. And one day he came and told the boy that whatever you are doing is great. Then the boy said that I love red roses. Can you give me some red roses from this garden? Hearing this the gardener went inside the garden and brought a red rose plant and gave it to the boy.

And said that as much as you are taking care of this rose plant today, after taking it to your house take more care of it. The boy had asked for a red rose, but when he got that red rose plant he became really very very happy. Every day he used to see that red rose from a distance, but now he owns the red rose plant. He will see this red rose every day at his home and he feels very happy.

Something different started happening

But slowly after some time, something different started happening. The boy stopped taking care of that rose plant, and stopped watering the plant. Then all the flowers and leaves of that rose withered. One day the gardener meets the boy on the way and asks now how is the red rose plant I gave you? Then the boy hastily replied that the plant you gave is good. But the gardener had a doubt about the boy. He thought he would go to that boy’s house and see his red rose plant.

Then the next day the gardener came to the boy’s house and saw that the red rose plant he had given had completely withered, the plant is in very bad condition and seeing this he was very sad.

Humans have the same condition

Human relationships are similar to this condition. When a person wants a relationship in his/her life very deeply but if that relationship is away from him/her then he/she gives great importance to that relationship. But when that person gets that relationship the value of that relationship gradually decreases.

You always notice that when a girlfriend and boyfriend then they give a lot of time and share everything with each other. They respect each other and understand each other’s feelings. But when the same girlfriend and boyfriend get married and became husband-wife, then some distance comes between them after some time of marriage.

Then slowly they quarrel and they make a big issue about every little thing and fight. And then their fight escalated so much that they both decide that they cannot handle this relationship well. That’s why they both want to separate.

Why this situation happens in a relationship

Can you tell me why this situation happens in a relationship? The only reason for all this is that when they get something or a relationship completely, then they reduce the value of that relationship/thing. Like when they make a relationship completely their own, then we start thinking that now this relationship is mine.

Then they reduce the value of that relationship, and respect for the relationship becomes less than before. That’s why all the time every relationship should be given the same value as you were giving when that relationship was away from you and even when the relationship will become yours completely. Even the same respect should be given to that relationship.

How to keep a relationship fresh and alive

Now I think we know what is the main reason for the loss of love and respect in the relationship. So, what we should do?

Generally, as human beings by nature, we are selfish and are living at present only. We are happy with our today’s happiness, we do not want to ponder about our future. When we think of our future, we generally think about monetary savings and plans. Because, this is what our big corporates are feeding us, since its a big business. They will make us aware of bad financial plans and a lot of financial agents will be after us to make any financial plan.

However, for investment in relationships, nobody will teach us. Because it does not give monetary or tangible advantage to anybody. Only the people who really love us like our parents and siblings care for that.

Generally, now siblings are also busy with their lives and problems. Even though they care for them, they do not have time to spare for us. Only, the parents can really help us in this situation. However, we feel shy or sometimes we feel that they will not understand our situation. We consider ourselves very progressive, advanced, tech-savvy, and much more. However, we forget the simple concept that, like water is present in the tree and plants and provide nutrition to them. The same water will also act as a binder for the making of concrete. Even water is present in all advanced technologies. In all these applications, water will change its form and purpose. But it is the water only, which is available for a very long time on this earth, that is before the formation of the earth itself.

Likewise, a relationship is always of the same nature, its essence can only be understood by the people who have experienced it to the maximum. That is our parents, even maybe their relationship will not be so smooth, however, they know how to build a relationship.

Another major aspect of the relationship, we need to understand that we should accept that nobody is perfect. Like, in jigsaw puzzles, the irregular forms fit perfectly with each other, that is the beauty of the relationship.

I hope you understood this. We need to appreciate each other.

The relationship is the only one which will be there with our life till the end. During the age range of 30-50, our friendships will change and life will be entangled in job and family responsibilities. After the official retirement age till the death bed of almost 25 years, the time will pass very slowly. We feel that these 25 years have become like 100 years. Since we do not have any engagement and very less energy, it is extremely difficult to cross this path of life.

To walk on this path with full happiness, we should invest a lot of gifts, love, and adventures, which will be a great memory. These memories are the final boost for the rocket of life to go ahead with full energy.

In a relationship, we should always think about what I am saving for the future of our relationship. If both the husband and wife start thinking about building a wonderful memory for their future, then definitely they will find various ways to strengthen their relationship.

Always remember, we are having only 25 years now, which will go very fast at 2X speed to build the memories for the next 25 years which will be going to be at 0.5 to 0.25X speed. Life is a journey and relationship is a wonderful path. So, keep your relationship alive, it is in your own hands.

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